Fountain of Youth group excercise

Every week I facillitate a drama therapy group in an outpatient program for mentally ill adults. I endeavour to come up with creative ideas to help people connect and process issues experientially. This week I invited the clients to "drink" from a “fountain of youth” and embody their 10-year-old selves.

My idea was inspired by a movie called “The Kid”. In this movie Bruce Willis plays an emotionally stunted man about to celebrate his 40th birthday. Then his 8-year old self comes to visit him and changes his perspective on life. Initially he is angry and mean to his younger self, telling the boy what a loser and an embarrassment he is. The feelings are reciprocated when the boy sees his 40-year-old self and is upset with the choices he has made. For example, despite his tremendous wealth and status, his younger self is disappointed the grown self does not have a cool dog and a significant relationship.

Over time, his adult self learns to accept his younger self and appreciate him. He recognizes that his younger ego is there to teach him self-acceptance. Then he had a chance to go back in time to the playground and stand up to some bullies. He also comforted his child-self when he learned his mother had terminal cancer. His adult self consoled the child after his father yelled and criticized the child. He hugged the child and said ”Dad is just yelling because he is scared and doesn’t know how to raise you by himself.”

I found this scene touching and thought about my own life and what I would tell my younger self while I was going through difficult things while growing up. And I was inspired to translate this concept into a drama therapy activity…

This morning I shared with the group my inspiration and thoughts about how we can help and teach ourselves or learn from our past selves. I let the clients know that they are free to not participate in the activity at any time if the activity brings up any overwhelming feelings or trauma. It is important when working in such a powerful medium such as psychodrama that the clients feel safe to do what is comfortable. In addition, I have had the opportunity to work with these clients for several weeks and build a rapport. Finally, this program emphasizes community and the connection among the clients is strong and allows for an emotionally safe environment to participate in a potentially vulnerable activity.

I began the session with a guided imagery. Asking the clients to close their eyes and imagine themselves when they were 10 years old. I invited them to think about what was happening in their lives, with their family and who their friends were at time. Who was their best friend? How were they socially? Were they shy? Outgoing? How old were their brothers and sisters at that time? Were their parents alive? Together? Apart? I asked them to think about what they liked to do. What toys did they play with? What games did they play? I had them imagine themselves in their 10-year-old body and remember how that felt. I also asked them to think about what their worries were at that time and to remember how they handled their feelings. Did they allow themselves to cry for example? I asked them about what their hopes and dreams were at that time. What did they want to be when they grow up? How did they imagine their future family?

After the guided imagery I had the clients open their eyes and I passed out [pretend] cups filled with water from the fountain of youth. Once they drank the water [miming] they would embody their 10-year-old selves and mingle with each other as 10-year-olds.

The clients embraced the activity and took on the inflection of their voices and body language of their 10-year old selves. They talked about their parents, brothers and sisters and pets they had. They talked about getting in trouble and hating school. The girls thought the boys were gross. Some were shy and some were very bouncy and outgoing. They talked about their parents not being home sometimes and feeling lonely. They also talked about the fun things they did with their family like going shopping. One talked about what a brat her younger brother is and another talked about how old her teenage sister is.

I interacted with the group as an adult talking to children and they respected me as “the teacher”. After about 20 minutes in character, I gave the group new glasses of [pretend] water to drink to bring them back to their adult selves.

Then we discussed the experience and how it felt to embody their younger selves. They expressed mixed emotions. One client stated she got in touch with the sadness she felt at that time. She remembered not being able to express her emotions and hiding when she cried. Another client talked about a similar theme of pretending to be happy even when feeling sad and lonely. They discussed the cultural differences between themselves and their parents and their attitude towards therapy and showing feelings. Some only began to learn to accept feelings later in their life. Another client talked about how she enjoyed being 10 again, she “didn’t have a worry in the world” at that time. While as an adult, she is usually very shy and reserved, when she embodied her 10-year-old self; she was more talkative and playful. Some clients stated they had difficulty at first remembering being 10, but with the guided imagery, they were able to get in touch with that part of themselves and were surprised with what they remembered and felt.

I asked the group to think about what they would tell their younger self or how they could help their younger self if they could go back in time, just as Bruce Willis helped his younger self stand up to the bullies on the playground and how he comforted his younger self the moment he learned his mother was terminally ill. One of the main themes that came up was self-tolerance and accepting feelings as ok and normal. “I would have told my dad, I have a right to have these feelings”, one client stated.

As I wrapped up, I thanked the clients for trusting me to do this vulnerable exercise.