The Day The Voices Stopped

I spent much of this weekend quietly reading the book “The Day the Voices Stopped…” by Ken Steele. In two days, I read the 200 pages cover to cover. It is a memoir of a man who suffered from Schizophrenia for 30 years. His voices began talking to him at age 14 through his radio. They terrorized him, told him he was worthless and regularly gave him ideas and strategies to kill himself. However, with the proper therapy and medication, he became an inspiring advocate for people with mental illness. As a mental health professional that does not have schizophrenia, his story helped me have a glimpse of the worldview of someone suffering from this illness. The book included the specific terrorizing words the voices said to Ken everyday. It described several near death experiences (some were directed by his voices), a brutal rape and prostitution. He also wrote about the many state hospitals he was involuntarily committed to in different cities including New York City, Hawaii, San Francisco and Chicago. He listed the routine of meeting with the different doctors, social workers and being watched closely by the orderlies. He described the restraints, the seclusion rooms, and the wrong medications which caused him to drool or appear catatonic. Very often, he would stabilize, be discharged to a program, start working, but when things appeared to go well, it was too much pressure, the voices would get louder and he would run away and revert to his homeless lifestyle.

Mr. Steele also talked about his ‘institutionalization’. He had been in so many hospitals and halfway houses, he could write a national directory, he once joked in his book. He wrote about knowing the script to get hospitalized, and knowing the correct behaviors to earn privileges. He discussed his needed “toughness” to manage around other patients in these unsafe settings. Also, he wrote about his fears of getting better after being in the sick role for so many years. Finally, talked about his lack of much needed support from his family and how social support was one of the key factors to his eventual stability.

As I was reading, I was thinking of clients I’ve had the privilege to get to know at a locked residential treatment center for emotionally disturbed adolescents. The book gave me an insider’s perspective on some of the behavior I observed including running away, cheeking meds, manipulation of rules and other institutionalized behavior. I thought about the secret voices they hear and the pressure they have to “be normal” when they are seeing and hearing delusions. Because Mr. Steele narrated his story with both reality and voices, it helped me get a better picture of what someone who appears to be talking to themselves might be experiencing. As I was reading Ken Steele’s story, I had tremendous empathy for him, just as I felt strongly connected to several of my clients.

I began to think of one client in particular who graduated from the adolescent treatment center I used to work at. She was a resident at the facility for over a year. She struggled with a severe drug addiction, delusions and paranoia. In fact, her symptoms were so severe; she had to be spoon-fed when she first entered the program. However with treatment and medication, she evolved into a role model for other residents and positively influenced several other younger girls. She was a staff favorite due to her positive outlook and genuine kindness.

In addition, I was always moved by the support this client’s family provided. She and her family struggled through tremendous hardships. Her mother had difficulty parenting due to her own addictions and mental illness. She and her sisters were placed in foster care and had to be independent at young ages. However, her aunt was always available and attended her treatment team meetings and her sister took her out on passes regularly. At her graduation, I was very moved and inspired by her family’s strength and loyalty to one another. She and her family were special. I felt honored to know them and work with them.

Shortly after Ken Steele finished his book, he died in October 2000 at age 52. In the few short years he found peace from his voices, he had become a strong advocate for mental health patients’ rights, a support for the mentally ill and their families and a spokesperson for Schizophrenia. I went online and read what people who knew him had to say, and how he touched them. (http://www.newyorkcityvoices.org/ken.html) I could never know him, but the book he left behind made a difference for me by emphasizing hope and giving me new appreciation for my clients who struggle with Schizophrenia.